Do you have character? Or are you a character?

A September 10 message from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest presented this food for thought: a crisis does not build something within us, it reveals our content. Another way to say the same thing, perhaps better known is: adversity does not build character, it reveals it.

One of the most interesting depictions I've ever seen of adversity revealing character is the HBO program “Band of Brothers”. Some had character, others did not. Some were characters. It was also interesting to note that some with character eventually reached the end of their mental/emotional rope due to a traumatic event.

The question I ask myself is “do I have character?” I've been told I do; the word used was “integrity”. But then I consider my reaction to various stresses and wonder. I pray to be delivered from the thorns but am not. Perhaps I am not praying enough? Perhaps my faith is not real? I don't know. Meanwhile I strive on.

This is where God wants you (to be) ...

This has been on my mind for some time, and I must confess it might ruffle a few feathers.

I recently received a well-meaning e-mail telling me, in effect, that my current situation is where God wants me to be. My response was that I don't believe we always end up where God wants us to be, but rather where our decisions, or the decisions of others, for better or worse, have placed us.

That is not to say that I am a deist, and believe that God wound up the universe and will now let it wind down then tip over. Nor do I believe God will, or will not, directly intervene in events. He has, He can, and I am sure He will. What it means is that I believe sometimes "it happens" and God allows it. Let me explain:

Did God want Adam and Eve to sin?
Did He want Joseph tossed into a pit?
Did He want David to seduce Bathsheba, then plot to have her husband killed?
Did He want Paul to kill Christians?

I don't believe He wanted these events to happen any more than I believe He wanted my grandmother, uncle and a cousin to die from cancer. If those events are what He wanted, that doesn't sound much like a loving, caring, God. Does it?

I do believe though that He can take even the most horrendous event and cause it to work for the ultimate purposes of His plan. I know that's a tough nut to crack, a thought perhaps difficult to reconcile in the confines of our limited human intellect and vision.

I think probably the only horrendous event in human history He wanted to happen was for Christ to offer Himself; it was the only way out of the mess we humans created.

Abandoned To God

As previously posted, I am a fan of Oswald Chambers. One of the books I "recently" (a few months ago) read is Abandoned to God. It was probably the first book I've ever read, including the Bible, that I heavily noted, and highlighted. I even went so far as to take notes in a separate notebook.

OC was, to my surprise, an artist/poet of no small amount of talent. He thought that's where he would be used by God. He never suspected, and even resisted the idea, that God would use him directly in missionary, evangelical service. But, as we all know that's exactly what happened.

Bold as it might sound, I found parallels between his (OC) life and mine. I spent much of my life doing "one thing" and I was (and still am), according to others, quite gifted at it. Yet, despite years of experience, and education, I find myself working at other tasks to pay the bills, while God seems to keep the doors shut to a full time position doing "it". True, I keep my hand in "it" as much as possible, and recently some unexpected doors have opened but it is still a challenge to keep the faith and trust in God.

Simplify ...

Over the past (many?) years I have read, concurrently, several different devotionals: Daily Bread, Days of Praise, and In Touch. More than a year ago I added Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest to the list. Several months ago I added George MacDonald's Diary of an Old Soul. Recently I began working my way through The Psalms ... in Scots Gaelic. One of my goals is to learn the language, and the Psalms in Scots Gaelic are one tool I am hoping will facilitate that learning curve.

The end effect of these multiple devotionals, not surprisingly, is lack of focus and a not terribly satisfying experience.

Therefore, earlier this year I decided to limit my devotional reading to My Utmost (which is being replaced by The Collected Works of Oswald Chambers) and Diary of an Old Soul, along with the Psalms and an occasional foray into the 3 volume Treasury of David, by Charles Spurgeon. One of the most important reasons for my choices is that I am drawn to Scotland, and particularly the Gaelic culture of Scotland.

Scotland has a rich Christian history and it is my dream/hope to visit Scotland again and again (having made three trips between May 2009 and May 2010) to drink deeply of her heritage, or ideally move to the Hebrides and work with/minister to the folk that live there. Far fetched? Impossible dream? Perhaps. But more than one person has suggested to me that God has given to me this desire of my heart, and we know that with Him all things are possible.

George MacDonald's Diary of an Old Soul

Well, I've had my copy of Diary of an Old Soul for several days. It is not what I expected; it's written in a "poetry/prose" style that is very different from that of Oswald Chambers. However, I take comfort in the forward, written by Alvin N. Rogness, which advises readers that Mr. MacDonald's content is not always easy to grasp, but is worth the time and effort.

For those who are interested, Mr. MacDonald was a direct descendant of the survivors of the Glencoe Massacre, and a writer of fantasy and fiction who influenced C.S. Lewis, J. R.R. Tolkien, Madeleine L'Engle. One of my friends from church, Tom , has read MacDonald's fiction, and I intend to continue to study his diary.

Choosing suffering versus choosing God's will even if it means suffering

Another reference from Oswald Chambers great My Utmost For His Highest.

http://www.myutmost.org/08/0810.html

My wife and I discussed that very topic after I kept "going back" to that day's devotional. The challenge is to know whether we have chosen the suffering: a bad job, poor relationship, etc. , or if "it" is God's will for our lives.

I confess that I do not know whether or not my "suffering" (such as it is) is indeed God's deliberate will for my life or is it the consequences of my actions, or the actions of others? Perhaps I may never know until a day when I will not even care.

The relationship, an Old Soul's Diary, and Still Higher for His Highest

During my Monday morning Old Gold (a mens group) meeting one of our group talked about his feeling there is something he is supposed to be doing but can't quite grasp it, and needs The Lord to show him the path. I responded "Join the club. Been in that position for 5 years." Eventually though I realized what I need to get is that my first priority needs to be my relationship to God, through Christ, and all else will fall into place.

Oswald Chambers wrote about that very thing in today's My Utmost for His Highest: "We must never allow anything to injure our relationship with God; if it does get injured we must take time and get it put right. The main thing about Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the atmosphere produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to look after, and it is the one thing that is being continually assailed. "

On other subjects, I found, when ordering a book for my wife, that Mr Chambers wrote a follow-up to My Utmost, and it's called Still Higher for His Highest. That and Diary of an Old Soul, by George MacDonald, will soon be in my hands and serve, along with My Utmost as my daily devotional readings.